Author : Shasha

Current city : Minneapolis, MN

This is about my life in the US, dedicated for those who wants to learn more

"Ku pohon restu dari mu oh ayah dan ibu Agar tercapai cita ku membela nasib mu"

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We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting.

—Yasmin Mogahed  (via everythingisafairytale)

Dear Beloved,

If you ever thought of us, how could you do what you did?

I’ve been thinking over and over again, what’s on your mind when you took that decision? 

I’m not gonna be that silent girl anymore. I am gonna stand for my right and I am gonna challenge you to be able to deliver your responsibilities well. 

Dear Beloved,

You know you’re actually not in peace currently. And that is the punishment for doing something bad to us. 

Have you ever just lied down in bed? Feeling really sad. And it’s that point where you have stopped crying, but only because there are no tears left. You just lay there, miserable. And all you know is that there’s this misery filling up inside you.

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

Thanks Afgan for doing cover for this song- much needed during this tough time.

My friend said to me, “Shasha, if you ever feel so stressful of something, you can try write it down, and for me it works wonder because I feel much much relieve afterwards”. 

So, here  I am, penning my thoughts on the screen- with hope that I’d be able to control my inner feeling.

I received a very shocking confession from somebody I trusted very much. Let’s call that person Beloved. Beloved was somebody I look up to, and while others were speculating about how Beloved might have committed an affair, deep down I tried my best to back that person up by resisting the thought. I always tell myself that I’d be the last person to believe in Beloved’s wrongdoing.

As it was revealed that the speculation was nothing but the truth, Allah knows how broken hearted I am- I’m shattered into pieces and I am unable to accept the fact.

Thanks for all the deeds that you have given me, Beloved. But for now, I would take my own sweet time to recover from this wound. It’s a serious injury you have caused me, and excuse me if I am unwilling to even look at your face. I can’t— for now.

I hope you’ll find your happiness with that person. It seems to me, my happiness is not your happiness. That’s why you did this to me and to the person I love so much.

You’ve chosen this path, please bear with the consequences. Don’t expect things to be the same anymore. I’m glad this year we get to take pictures together because I foresee that it might not happen anymore in the future. Maybe it’s fated that at my age of 24, we’d be apart from each other as I know you are only a “loan” from Allah. 

p.s Don’t try to find me if I ever run far away from all of this. I’m a grown up, so I know how to take care of myself.

Christina Aguilera - I Turn To You (Lyrics) HD

(Source: youtube.com)